Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Slow down, you move to fast...(with revisions and additions) :)

Quinn is killing me. Seriously. This toddler stage is not my favorite. We have lots of great moments. She was just giggling - and that is cute. And her kisses are hilarious. And her scrunchy nose is yummy. But really, destruction everywhere. I need to love these moments because I know they will pass quickly but at the moment I just really want to scream. She has spent a lot of time in time out. I know she is only 16 months old but we are trying to put a stop to some of the naughtiness. And it is naughty. She totally knows what she is doing and she also knows that we think she is the cutest thing to ever walk the earth. She also knows how to use this to her best advantage. As Teague said to my mom one day, "Grandma, don't think she is dumb. 'Cause she is smart." So true. Notice in the picture - her bib that she has discarded and used her shirt instead. Clearly, we are having a control battle. PS - I am in love with her new jeans. $8 at Target. But sad that she is growing out of all her clothes so fast. Slow down!

Because of this child, I enrolled my self in a Love and Logic parenting class. (OK - truth - I need it for all 4 of my kids). I LOVE IT!!!! I took it with Kenyon about 6 years ago and I have needed to retake for a while. It is an 8 week course. It is my favorite night of the week. The teacher is great and it is so empowering to fill like there are options to better parenting.
*Update - for Salt Lake locals - the Jordan School District offers these classes to parents every semester. Check online. I am sure some of the other districts offer them as well. Also, they have lots of books and some great CDs available. I am SURE your local library has them. Otherwise check here.

This week we are working on giving enforceable statements. That means telling the kids things you can enforce. For example, "I'd be happy to help you with that assignment when you have completed your chores." "Yes, you can have a cookie after you have had dinner." Basically it means turning everything you say into a positive with a condition of what you need to see happen. You won't force them to eat dinner. They can choose. That is what is so great about it. Kids get to have some control in their lives. And when they make poor choices, consequences are given with empathy. Love love love it!

*And yes to Alissa - it does work for our toddlers - although we have a lot of work to do around here. With the little ones it starts with giving a million choices a day. Do you want to wear blue shoes or red shoes, do you want water or milk, do you want to walk or be carried, do you want to read a book or do a puzzle? Dumb choices but it makes them feel like they are in charge of their life. Then the next part is to say "Uh-oh" when they have done something wrong and immediately remove them from the problem - sometimes to their crib if that is appropriate. And say, "we can play (or eat or whatever), when you are sweet (or pleasant etc)." Consistency. That is where I struggle.

7 comments:

Alissa said...

Does it work for kids Quinn's (really, I mean Ella's) age? How do you find out about the classes? I would love to enroll.

Angie said...

That parenting class sounds awesome! You're such a good example for even taking a parenting class. Good for you. Hang in there with Quinn... she sounds like a handful! A stinking cute handful, but a handful none the less. Haha.

Hoffmann Family said...

Love it too! I read the book last summer! Brilliant!

Mr. Regala said...

Hi Annie, I was just reading your entry from Cheryl's blog and I think you just solved all my problems with my kids!!! Thanks so much for putting this love and logic link in your entry. I'm so excited to read more about this, this is exactly what I have been looking for. I try to do this already but having this as a resource will be so super! I hope there is a book.....

Mr. Regala said...

That comment is from me, Jane, not Bon. He is just somehow logged into whatever this is instead of me. Please excuse the silly picture of him!

Amy M. said...

Love this kid! She is just SO darn cute! And those jeans? Love! Ava needs some, I'll go tomorrow. I'm sad I didn't take this class with you, we need HELP!!!

Dayna said...

interesting stuff! am always curious how life will be when i have to start actually disciplining my child. yikes. i'm a little nervous. it was neat reading this though. my sister swears by a book called Positive Discipline. I have been reading it and it is very good. Reminds me a lot about what you are doing.