Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Slow down, you move to fast...(with revisions and additions) :)
Because of this child, I enrolled my self in a Love and Logic parenting class. (OK - truth - I need it for all 4 of my kids). I LOVE IT!!!! I took it with Kenyon about 6 years ago and I have needed to retake for a while. It is an 8 week course. It is my favorite night of the week. The teacher is great and it is so empowering to fill like there are options to better parenting.
*Update - for Salt Lake locals - the Jordan School District offers these classes to parents every semester. Check online. I am sure some of the other districts offer them as well. Also, they have lots of books and some great CDs available. I am SURE your local library has them. Otherwise check here.
This week we are working on giving enforceable statements. That means telling the kids things you can enforce. For example, "I'd be happy to help you with that assignment when you have completed your chores." "Yes, you can have a cookie after you have had dinner." Basically it means turning everything you say into a positive with a condition of what you need to see happen. You won't force them to eat dinner. They can choose. That is what is so great about it. Kids get to have some control in their lives. And when they make poor choices, consequences are given with empathy. Love love love it!
*And yes to Alissa - it does work for our toddlers - although we have a lot of work to do around here. With the little ones it starts with giving a million choices a day. Do you want to wear blue shoes or red shoes, do you want water or milk, do you want to walk or be carried, do you want to read a book or do a puzzle? Dumb choices but it makes them feel like they are in charge of their life. Then the next part is to say "Uh-oh" when they have done something wrong and immediately remove them from the problem - sometimes to their crib if that is appropriate. And say, "we can play (or eat or whatever), when you are sweet (or pleasant etc)." Consistency. That is where I struggle.